From the Practice for the Practice

Special Seminars

The following seminars are only offered to good customers and on special request. Due to increasing demand, we generally have to put you on the waiting list.

Total Verbal Elasticity in Project Meetings

Flexible points of view combined with exciting global waffling: “I have no idea, do you have one?”

Graphological Balance Sheet Audit

The secret worlds of figures or how to survive the next quarter

Verbal Presence with Zero-Content

Talk like hairdressers, level V

Fascination of the One-Pager

Learn how to strip down all (really all) projects to a one-pager and to control the whole portfolio with three KPI's. Optional: the traffic light status or why get involved with the project?

Adaptive Customer Acquisition (Follow-Up)

Flexible competence suggestion on the phone

Excuse Management

Why we're always finished or hundred clean bills of health

Project Planning: Influence of schedule length on project success

Why at least 500 activities are required to convince managers of project complexity

Advanced HNC* Presentation Techniques

You learn to make 25 foils in 25 minutes regardless of the topic (incl. CD-ROM with 200+ filler foils)

* HNC: have no clue

Utmost Incompetence Compensation Competence

The key to a skyrocketing career! Especially in combination with the HNC training you will be utmostly successful! It's not what you say or know, it's how you get it across!
Inspired by Jens Bergmann's book "business bullshit"

Project Reporting: How to cover your ass ...

This text block has been copied 1:1 from a balance sheet of a quite huge company ... slightly adapted by using the word "project" ;-)

“This project report includes forward-looking information and statements that are subject to risks and uncertainties that could cause actual results to differ. These statements are based on current expectations, estimates and projections about global economic conditions, the economic conditions of the regions and the customer that have major influences on the project results.

These expectations, estimates and projections are generally identifiable by statements containing words such as “expects”, “believes”, “estimates” or similar expressions. Important factors that could cause actual results to differ materially from those expectations include, among others, economic and market conditions in the geographic areas and industries that have major influence on this project, customer acceptance of installed products and services, changes in governmental regulations, interest rates, fluctuations in currency exchange rates and such other factors as may be discussed from time to time in the project reports.

Although the project manager believes that his expectations reflected in any such forward-looking statement are based upon reasonable assumptions, he can give no assurance that those expectations will be achieved.”